Lifestyle | My first smear test, told by a hypochondriac.

A cervical screening, more commonly known as a smear test, checks the health of your cervix. It's not actually a test for cancer, it's a test to prevent cancer. A swab of cells is taken and then tested for changes to cells in your cervix. All females aged 25 - 64 are invited to have a smear test. Up until 50 it's every 3 years and then it changes to every 5. Please check out the NHS site for more information HERE.

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Day I received my smear letter | 15.12.19

I got my letter today that it was time to book my first smear test. I knew this letter was on its way as I shall be turning 25 this year so I wasn't surprised to have received it. Over the past 6 months I've been googling smear tests and watched many informative videos about the process, whilst also accidentally stumbling across a few horror stories here and there. I've asked friends, my mum and any female that will stop long enough if it hurts and I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't hurt, it just feels strange. So with all of my research keeping me sane, I straight away booked my appointment. Well my mum did, cause I may be a grown up who's moved out of my family home but my mum definitely still books all of my doctor appointments. The thing I'd say is don't sit on your letter. Just book it and book the first appointment you can get so you don't overthink it and also check when you're due on so you don't book when you are!

Day before the smear test |  29.12.19

It’s the day before the smear test. I spent the majority of the day in front of the TV with my legs in a diamond shape. This is the shape that everyone tells you you’ll be in for the test. To create the shape bend your knees and place them together and then flop your legs to each side. In the evening I’ve decided to have a pamper. Partially for me to relax and partially for the nurse so I don’t smell! I basically feel like I’m going swimming tomorrow so have to be a lady and make myself presentable down there, if you know what I mean. I’ve also taken note on my phone the date of my last period as this is something the nurse will ask. I am surprisingly not nervous, not sure if this is a good or bad thing!

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Day of the smear test | 30.12.19

It’s the day of my smear test and I had to wake up at 7am to get to my Doctors on time. Have to say maybe don’t sit in the diamond shape for the day before as my goodness do my legs ache, feel like I’ve just done leg day in the gym. I didn’t feel too nervous until I got there and literally had to run to the toilet for a serious case of IBS.... I then got so worried I’d now smell so I did my nurse the cutesy of quickly wiping the area with a wet tissue too... TMI I'm sure. I waited in the waiting room with my mum (moral support is always nice) and then went in to see the nurse. I have to say probably the one time I’ve been called in on time and not been made to wait ages.

The nurse was really lovely and asked me when my last period was and explained what the smear test was. Then before I could hyperventilate she said pop on the bed. I wore a dress - highly recommend - it makes the process quicker and also means you have a bit more dignity. I took my tights off got on the bed and then realised I hadn’t taken my underwear off! Tip. Take your underwear off!!! So once I had done that and got back on the bed she asked me to pop my knees up and open my legs into the diamond, which after doing all day yesterday I was very prepared for and a master in, if I say so myself. The nurse had two sizes speculums and you’re able to ask for a smaller size if it’s more comfortable for you. Then she has a look for your cervix which took her a bit of time to find, to which I exclaimed ‘do I not have one?’. I am pleased to say I do have one but it’s hidden, which is not uncommon. This did mean this step took a little bit longer as she had to wiggle the speculum around and it felt peculiar. Next she put a long thin swab in to collect cells. I couldn’t even feel that!

I popped up and put my tights etc back on and sat back on the chair. The nurse checked my phone number was still correct and let me know I’ll get a text with my results. I’m nervous for my results and really hope they’re negative as although the experience wasn’t unbearable and shockingly painful, like I thought it would be, I wouldn’t say it was fun and something I’d like to do again so soon!

My appointment took about 15mins from saying hi to bye and the smear test part was about 5min long, mainly cause I forgot to take my underwear off and had to get back up and do so! 

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The wait for my smear test results | 06.01.20

Whilst waiting for the results I did begin to imagine all sorts of outcomes and scare myself, so I highly recommend just not doing that. What will be, will be, so there's no point in worrying about it and just try to forget you have results coming. I received my text exactly 1 week after my appointment and was happy to have received a negative result and suggested I take the test next in 3 years, I also received a letter in the post saying the same thing.

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Completion of my first smear test experience

So that's it, after all the worrying it was over. I guess you could say I faced my smear! If I can do it, someone who couldn't say the word 'bra' in public and still runs into the pool in fear of people seeing me in my swimwear, you can too. So what are you waiting for? Go and book your appointment.